Family dysfunction, rape, and murder are all subjects that are revealed in this difficult, but necessary study of 2 Samuel 13:1-39. As you read the passage, I am sure you are grieved by all that took place. I am equally confident that David was grieved as he watched his family self-destruct before his very eyes. I also know that God was grieved, because what was taking place was not the kind of family that He desired for David to have.
This is going to be a very straight-forward, hard-hitting session as you wrestle with all the subjects in this passage. Please keep in mind that, even though this took place, God was still at work. Here are some of the ways I suggest you conclude your discussion. This and other helps are included in the downloadable teaching ideas.
Helpful References (click on each title to read more):
The Tragedy for Tamar:
- There is no evidence that Tamar was helped in any way by the murder of Amnon. Amnon’s death did not restore her virginity, her reputation, or her future. Based on what we know about the cultural practices of that time, she probably remained condemned to a desolate life without any hope of marriage or children.
- While this is a Scriptural account of the events that unfolded due to the devasting effects of sin in one man’s family, we can’t ignore what happened to Tamar. If this had happened to Tamar today, she could have been included in the #Metoo movement. Her testimony could have been heard far and wide and the silence of David, the actions of Amnon, and the revenge of Absalom would have been shared on every news channel.
- The stigma of rape is still prevalent today. Sadly, many victims never report the crime.
- Beyond the violent trauma of the act itself, the residual mental, physical, and spiritual effects of sexual assault and rape continue to permeate the daily lives of survivors.
- 2 Samuel 13 serves as a sobering warning that sin destroys relationships. Remember, God had forgiven David of his sins with Bathsheba, but the consequences of those sins were already set in place.
- David watched his entire family self-destruct because of the choices he made, not only as a king, not only as one who loved God, but as a father!
- The wretched, tragic story of Amnon and Tamar highlights some of the problems associated with sexual sin and its aftermath. No one should experience the treatment Tamar endured, and it is important to respond to such situations with integrity and justice. David neglected justice, and Absalom implemented his own standards, creating additional problems in the process.
- Remember God’s promise to David earlier: Despite the dysfunction of David's family, God still accomplished His will of bringing His Son, Jesus Christ, into the world through the lineage of David. God took this dysfunctional family, and out of it came the redemption of mankind from sin through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ.
- Why didn’t God stop this before it took place? (If we asked this question, then we would have to ask, “Why didn’t God just destroy all mankind after Adam sinned?” We are all sinners. God’s grace and mercy is evident even in the midst of the tragic effects of sin – not only in David’s life but in ours as well. He still had a redemptive plan that would rise out of the ashes of the sins of David and his sons.)
- Imagine you are David watching all this unfold in your family. What would be going through your mind? What feelings would you be experiencing? What actions would you want to take?
- Imagine you are God watching all this unfold in the family of the one described as “a man after God’s own heart.” (1 Samuel 13:14; Acts 13:22). What would you be thinking? How would you be feeling?
