July 29: Restored

Some of you may know what DWYSYWD means. It is used in James M. Kouzes and Barry Z. Posner's book, The Leadership Challenge as a way of challenging leaders to demonstrate trust. It means “Do What You Said You Would Do” (The Leadership Challenge, third edition, p. 38). When we don't, we lose the trust of those following us. Trust is one of the most important leadership qualities to possess, the easiest to lose, and the most difficult to restore. This week's session will focus on actions David took in 2 Samuel 19:1-15 to begin restoring trust.

When King David lost Absalom but won the battle against Absalom's army, he had a lot of work to do in order to restore his own trust and unity to the nation of Israel. DWYSYWD should be our leadership motto when it comes to trust. Actually, this should be our motto as Christians, period! We should be people whom others can trust!

Here are some points and ideas that are included in the Additional Teaching Ideas:

2 Samuel 19:1-4

• What does the response of the soldiers reveal about their respect for David as a leader? 
• Why would someone be loyal to a leader like David? What made him more trustworthy than Absalom?
• David publicly grieved even though Absalom had become his enemy. David exhibited his pain in front of his army. 
• Would this take place today? Do leaders feel as if they have to hide their struggles and pain? 
• Do church leaders (whether they be pastors or volunteers) feel as if they need to hide their pain? Why or why not?
• What would happen if church leaders were more open about the pain they might be experiencing? How could this help restore trust in a leader?
• How should those surrounding a leader respond when a leader expresses his/her feelings or vulnerabilities?

2 Samuel 19:5-7

• Is Joab’s advice good advice? Why or why not? Would a leader be perceived as weak if he had responded the way David did? Why or why not? Would you respect a leader more or less if he had acted the way David did?

2 Samuel 19:8

Explanation and Images related to where the king possibly sat and why. Consider using the following images.

• A gate complex and its pavement was discovered at Dan (Images above) near the northern border of Israel, which was built at the end of the tenth century B.C. Near the entrance to the gate itself was found an unusual structure, built of ashlars and originally having at its four corners small columns with decorated capitals or bases. The use of this structure could not be determined archaeologically, but it is possible that it served as a base for a throne. “The reference in 2 Samuel 19:8 surely must refer to some special structure where David sat and where the people could see him". – Expositor’s Commentary, 2 Samuel
• The king placed himself at the center of public and commercial life. As he sat there in silence, his troops “came into the king’s presence.” This action communicates trust that things are going to return to normal. While David’s loyal forces stood with their king, there were others who fled to their tents (v. 8).

2 Samuel 19:9-15

Consider using one the options included with the Supplemental Teaching Plan that utilizes either the Explore The Bible Personal Study Guide or the Explore The Bible Daily Discipleship Guide.

While some of us have positions of leadership, everyone is a leader, especially if you are a believer. Someone is watching you, respects you, or wants to learn from you. Demonstrating trust is vital so that you can be the leader in your home, your workplace (even though you might not be the boss), your church, and as a Christian.

All of us can overcome past failures, grief, and devastating circumstances and regain trust, but it is difficult. Just as David did, a wise person (Christian, leader) will recognize when it’s time to move forward and reestablish what once was lost. 

There are additional ideas that could be incorporated into your session. You can download the complete plan below.

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July 22: Resentment (Changed Title)

Resentment leads people to do things they shouldn’t do, act in ways they shouldn’t act, and use others in order to seek revenge on those who have hurt them. As believers, we must not allow resentment to drive our decisions and our emotions. We must respond to those who have hurt us in ways that honor God. This is the direction I am taking this week as I lead our group to study 2 Samuel 15:10-30.

As you teach this passage, consider all the ways that people are expressing resentment today. We live in a culture today that seems to honor those who lash out at others because of resentment. They are applauded in the media, honored in ceremonies, and given national platforms. They use their resentment and anger to drag others into their schemes and plans.

Help your group understand that we can't allow resentment to be our mode of operation in life. We can't allow others' resentment, whether it be toward an individual, a church leader, a family member, a social injustice, or any other situation, to manipulate us into acting in ways that don’t honor God.

We can learn a lot in the passage as we examine the resentment of Absalom and the way David responded. Observe in the passages how others responded to Absalom and David as well.

WORD PRONUNCIATIONS
Click on each word to listen to the pronunciation

• Ahithophel
• Cherethite
• Pelethite
• Ittai
• Hushai

APPLICATION IDEAS
The downloadable teaching ideas provide the following that could be used to help the group to personally make application.

Ask: What can we learn regarding how to respond when people refuse to forgive and their resentment builds toward us? How can we guard our hearts from the festering seeds of resentment?

Apply (Consider assigning to individuals, partners, or groups): How can these verses help us deal with resentment? Mark 11:25; 1 Peter 5:10; Ephesians 4:31; Hebrews 12:15; 1 Peter 2:23; Romans 3:10; 1 Timothy 2:8

MAP OPTION
The following image could be used to help the group contextualize what was taking place as David climbed the Mount of Olives after leaving The City of David (2 Samuel 15:30). The image is taken from the direction of The City of David, looking out over the Mount of Olives as it looks today.

Here are the fruits of resentment in Absalom’s life: He turned on others, including family. He compromised God’s standards in order to fulfill his own agenda. He used people in order to exact his revenge. He convinced himself that he could do a better job than his dad. Absalom’s growing resentment led him to take what wasn’t his in order to exact revenge on his father, David.

I pray this session will help you and your group to wrestle with the issue of resentment and how to overcome and respond to it.

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July 15: Grieved

Family dysfunction, rape, and murder are all subjects that are revealed in this difficult, but necessary study of 2 Samuel 13:1-39. As you read the passage, I am sure you are grieved by all that took place. I am equally confident that David was grieved as he watched his family self-destruct before his very eyes. I also know that God was grieved, because what was taking place was not the kind of family that He desired for David to have.

This is going to be a very straight-forward, hard-hitting session as you wrestle with all the subjects in this passage. Please keep in mind that, even though this took place, God was still at work. Here are some of the ways I suggest you conclude your discussion. This and other helps are included in the downloadable teaching ideas.

Helpful References (click on each title to read more): 

• Why did Amnon rape Tamar? Why didn't David punish Amnon?
• 4 Ways Sin Destroys Families

The Tragedy for Tamar:

• There is no evidence that Tamar was helped in any way by the murder of Amnon. Amnon’s death did not restore her virginity, her reputation, or her future. Based on what we know about the cultural practices of that time, she probably remained condemned to a desolate life without any hope of marriage or children.
• While this is a Scriptural account of the events that unfolded due to the devasting effects of sin in one man’s family, we can’t ignore what happened to Tamar. If this had happened to Tamar today, she could have been included in the #Metoo movement. Her testimony could have been heard far and wide and the silence of David, the actions of Amnon, and the revenge of Absalom would have been shared on every news channel.
• The stigma of rape is still prevalent today. Sadly, many victims never report the crime. 
• Beyond the violent trauma of the act itself, the residual mental, physical, and spiritual effects of sexual assault and rape continue to permeate the daily lives of survivors.

Points to Emphasize

• 2 Samuel 13 serves as a sobering warning that sin destroys relationships. Remember, God had forgiven David of his sins with Bathsheba, but the consequences of those sins were already set in place. 
• David watched his entire family self-destruct because of the choices he made, not only as a king, not only as one who loved God, but as a father!
• The wretched, tragic story of Amnon and Tamar highlights some of the problems associated with sexual sin and its aftermath. No one should experience the treatment Tamar endured, and it is important to respond to such situations with integrity and justice. David neglected justice, and Absalom implemented his own standards, creating additional problems in the process.
• Remember God’s promise to David earlier: Despite the dysfunction of David's family, God still accomplished His will of bringing His Son, Jesus Christ, into the world through the lineage of David. God took this dysfunctional family, and out of it came the redemption of mankind from sin through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ.

Questions to Consider

• Why didn’t God stop this before it took place? (If we asked this question, then we would have to ask, “Why didn’t God just destroy all mankind after Adam sinned?” We are all sinners. God’s grace and mercy is evident even in the midst of the tragic effects of sin – not only in David’s life but in ours as well. He still had a redemptive plan that would rise out of the ashes of the sins of David and his sons.)
• Imagine you are David watching all this unfold in your family. What would be going through your mind? What feelings would you be experiencing? What actions would you want to take?
• Imagine you are God watching all this unfold in the family of the one described as “a man after God’s own heart.” (1 Samuel 13:14; Acts 13:22). What would you be thinking? How would you be feeling?

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July 8: Accountable

How would you feel if someone treated you badly after you had given everything imaginable to them ,including your love and grace? If you are like me, I am sure you would feel betrayed, disappointed, angry, or maybe even vengeful. Can you imagine yourself or anyone doing this to God after all He has done to give us salvation and all the many other blessings He so freely bestows on us? David did this, and it broke God's heart! But, God didn't walk away. He held David accountable because He loved him. David responded by taking full responsibility for his sin. We can learn a lot about accountability as we lead this session with our group.

As you lead this session, please keep in mind that there will be some who: (1) don't know Christ and need to understand that they will be held accountable for rejecting Christ, but that Christ offers forgiveness and an eternal relationship with Him, (2) are professing believers who need to understand the tragedy of the sins that they commit and the slam it makes toward the grace God has so freely given.

The focus of this week's session can be summed up with this statement based upon God's broken heart as described in 2 Samuel 12:7-12:

"I (God) have given . . . yet you (David) despise Me"

This is how God felt about the way King David, who have been given so much, chose to "despise" God when he sinned against Him with Bathsheba and all the additional sins this led to.

HANDOUT - The downloadable teaching ideas provide a handout on the last page, a list of accountability questions. I suggest this as an optional application point at the end of the session.

PSALM 51 - I highly recommend you incorporate Psalm 51 into your session. The downloadable teaching ideas suggest using it at the end of the session.

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